Yep you should NOT submit to search engines.
Google likes it better if she finds your site on her own.
You can give her a trail to sniff though.
You also need to be VERY careful with link exchanges these days.
READ Google's WebMaster Guidelines re Link Exchanges
"
However, some webmasters engage in link exchange schemes and build partner pages exclusively for the sake of cross-linking, disregarding the quality of the links, the sources, and the long-term impact it will have on their sites. This is in violation of Google's webmaster guidelines and can negatively impact your site's ranking in search results."
More...
Webmaster Help Center - Link schemes