I have devised the-most-brilliant-and-automated-way-to-make-money-online! I want to share it with everyone because I now made my millions and want you to make yours too!
Now there is only one catch - of course - but don’t worry:
*You don’t have to PM Me
*You don’t have to buy anything
*You don’t even have to read anything
*All you have to do is look at your bank account and watch cash pile up!!
*You don’t have to submit articles
*You don’t have to make adwords ads
*You don’t have to sign up to anything or opt-in anywhere
*You don’t have to do A THING! ALL YOU DO IS WATCH CASH PILE UP!!
*I am so confident that you will make a million, that I offer a full money back guarantee - wait a minute - it’s free - but I’ll still offer a refund, you invest nothing - so I will give you 100% of your ‘nothing’ back if you are not satisfied.
*You don’t have to click on any links
*You don’t have to make landing pages or fumble with codes
*You don’t have to make videos/audios/flash pieces or submit them
*You don’t have to EVER look at a computer again!!
*Yep - YOU - my friends are only moments away from discovering my ultra new super steroid tactics that will PUMP cash into your accounts faster than you can ‘refresh’ your page!! Don’t believe me yet? Keep reading…
*You don’t have to have a paypal account
*You don’t have to have a physical address
*Heck - You don’t even have to be human for this one - so if you’re green - it’s OK!
*You don’t have to speak English - or speak any language
*You don’t have to meet an age limit, height limit, IQ limit or otherwise
*You NEVER have to message anyone - Instant CASH - yep - In your account!
*You don’t have to be a benificiary to any deceased pretend family member
*You will not have to show any ID or cross any borders or cash any checks
*You do not even need a bank account!!?! Can YOU - believe it?! This is the bestest system I’ve ever launched and am guaranteeing YOU - that - YOU will make money online and finally be able to stop your dreaded hamster wheel life! WOW!
*You don’t have to wear clothes
*You don’t have to shave or smell good
*You don’t have to be male or female or in betweenie
*You WILL have to like CASH - lot’s of it - so much that all the models and celebrities will be at your door in a few days wanting to party - R- U - READY FOR CASH?! Do YOU love CASH THAT MUCH?!
*This is the most lucrative and high paying post on this forum - I pwomise - YOU WILL get paid - I will fly to see you personally, and hand you over a suitcase full of money EVERY time you do NOTHING at least ONCE a day!
*I even have 16 testimonials from happy NOTHING doers who are living life like they always imagined - DOING NOTHING! You can read them once you are in my inner circle, I’ll even jump on the phone with you to reassure you that NOTHING is great and an easy thing monetize!! It’s all about NOTHING!
*My top affiliate earned $16,389,188.00 on his THIRD DAY! I have proof! He’s that guy that everyone knows, you know, John…! He’s so filthy rich now that he NEVER even goes outside, he’s just lazy and sleeps in PILES of CASH all day - he smokes though - but that’s ok because he ACTUALLY SMOKES $100 BILLS!! Imagine being THAT rich!! Doing NOTHING?!
All you have to do to qualify for this nuclear bomb of an offer.. .. ….. Is… .. .. You guessed it - NOTHING!
Why are you still reading? Don’t you want MONEY - Go! Do NOTHING!!
NC. This is a tribute to ALL marketing forums out there who have members that love to creatively and non-intrusively create padded threads, ‘pm me for more info’, second tier referrals, link bait, backlink jackarses, fake screenshot or earnings posters, PM spammers, leachers, trolls, and the 1000 other things you get called for trying to monetize a community you are trying to become one with.
** This is taken from my blog, figured you guys could use a laugh
