My little boy used to climb into our bed and wriggle away and I'd let him. Then I went to Boston for a fortnight and on my return he was kicked out so quickly - I'd had 2 good weeks of jetlagged induced sleep and I loved it.
Part of getting the sleep is being tough and letting them cry. When my daughter was just home so only a week or two old Andy and I lay in bed wondering what to when she cried ticking off the "dry, fed, colicy" checklist and while we discussed it she finally fell asleep. We gradually learnt her cycle of 3 looooong episodes and then sleep. She's 9 now and gorgeous - no damage done.
Ofcourse by a year you have a child who is older and parents who are exhausted. Not helped by the fact that the child is unwell which makes you all the more protective but a bit of tough love is called for. At one she should be able to get through with less than 8 wakeups.
Because of her health conditions her needs may not be the same as other 1 year olds but your daughter and her partner need to sit down and work out which need is real and which is because she's concerned and protective and coming at a personal cost. Those need to be evaluated and possibly culled. That process may be hard but if she's got it right then it should be a week at most of "pain".
It sounds like she's been round the houses with the doctors so she's been to an Osteopath or chiropracter, right? And she has the two bricks under the "head" end of the cot to help the reflux?
The Hep sounds bad, poor thing and I have no idea what CMV is but I know from when my daughter was an ill baby too how frightening it can be. But support groups for each and every condition exist and can provide much needed backup - if only, sometimes, to think "well she's not that bad!"
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