Baby Sleep Problems

[Linda Buquet]

Ok, so this is TOTALLY off topic, but that's what this part of the forum is for.

I know we have lots of WAHM's here, so I just thought I would share and see if anyone has any bright ideas.

My grandbaby will be one year old in a couple weeks. She's been waking up 8 times a night on average for the past 11 1/2 months and my daughter is so sleep deprived she is ready to have a breakdown. My daughter has had 2 complete spinal surgeries and is in constant chronic pain and sometimes is disabled and can barely walk. Sometimes he can barely even pick up the baby. The whole family is chipping in to help her with laundry, the baby and everything because she's a walking zombie. I slept over there last night to try to calm baby and let my daughter try to get a full night sleep for the 1st time in almost a year. No such luck.

Allie has had lots of health problems. Severe reflux, a rare type of hepatitis, CMV, weird things the Drs, can't diagnose, lots of colds and of course she's teething which doesn't help. During the day she is the happiest, smartest, most independent kid I've ever seen. She laughs almost constantly and is fine playing by herself. I can't get enough of the kid, she's the love of my life. And my daughter has always been my best friend. We are so close that I feel her pain.

At night though it's a nightmare for Allie. They've been to tons of Drs. They've tried different types of sleep therapy. Now they are using the No Cry Sleep Solution, which is one of the most popular therapies for infants with sleep problems.

Anyway, we are all feeling pretty worn down by this and after being up all night last night, I just felt like sharing what's up. Any Moms out there have tips that worked for their little ones?

[sarahk]

My little boy used to climb into our bed and wriggle away and I'd let him. Then I went to Boston for a fortnight and on my return he was kicked out so quickly - I'd had 2 good weeks of jetlagged induced sleep and I loved it.

Part of getting the sleep is being tough and letting them cry. When my daughter was just home so only a week or two old Andy and I lay in bed wondering what to when she cried ticking off the "dry, fed, colicy" checklist and while we discussed it she finally fell asleep. We gradually learnt her cycle of 3 looooong episodes and then sleep. She's 9 now and gorgeous - no damage done.

Ofcourse by a year you have a child who is older and parents who are exhausted. Not helped by the fact that the child is unwell which makes you all the more protective but a bit of tough love is called for. At one she should be able to get through with less than 8 wakeups.

Because of her health conditions her needs may not be the same as other 1 year olds but your daughter and her partner need to sit down and work out which need is real and which is because she's concerned and protective and coming at a personal cost. Those need to be evaluated and possibly culled. That process may be hard but if she's got it right then it should be a week at most of "pain".

It sounds like she's been round the houses with the doctors so she's been to an Osteopath or chiropracter, right? And she has the two bricks under the "head" end of the cot to help the reflux?

The Hep sounds bad, poor thing and I have no idea what CMV is but I know from when my daughter was an ill baby too how frightening it can be. But support groups for each and every condition exist and can provide much needed backup - if only, sometimes, to think "well she's not that bad!"

[Linda Buquet]

Thanks so much Sarah. Was hoping you would weigh in. Always nice to hear from other Moms. They bought her an Amby bed, specially for infants with reflux cuz it keeps her head elevated. Drs say its about the worst case of reflux theyve seen. They've tried to let her cry but it makes her reflux much worse, then she can't sleep at all due to the pain. So it's kind of a viscious cycle.

So funny because if you saw her during the day you would think she was the happiest, healthiest, most well adjusted baby you'd ever met. Night-time is just a nightmare.

Thanks for posting, Sarah.

[Rugman.com]

I can't speak for what to do for the baby, however, I can say that reflux will DEFINITELY cause real and anxious pain that demands attention.

I'm hoping that the special bed will work. Best of luck and God Speed to a solution!

[sarahk]

Totally agree. If she's crying from the reflux that isn't being "naughty" or "demanding" - that's a child who requires care. "Naughty" is when you go in the room and they chuckle at you want to be played with.

A friend had her daughter on some medication and was constantly maxxed out on the dosage but it helped. Alot of first time Mums want to avoid pharmaceuticals because who wants a drugged out baby? but sometimes drugs are necessary. And sometimes the homeopathic treatment is the answer.

I had a fabulous GP who would tell me that if there was a guy in leopard skin loin cloth and bone through his nose but he could get a baby to sleep then she'd say go for it.

I spent 18 months squirting foul antibiotics and iron formula down my girls throat but it did the trick and beat having midnight trips to the hospital and sitting in the "abuse observation" cubicle that they reserve for cases like hers. I cared more than she did - she preferred the "night time doctor" to the "day time doctor" because the hospital gave her lollipops and iceblocks!

[lingstar]

Hi Linda,

Just noticed this thread - how is your granddaughter now doing?

Best wishes,

[Linda Buquet]

Hi Barbara,

She's just as ADORABLE and smilely as ever. Except at night. She's still having a hard time with sleep. I just bought her this CD, which I'm hoping will help. http://www.babysleepsystem.com/ Her parents are just trying very hard to follow a rigid bed time schedule to try to train her to sleep. Take a bath, read a book, sing a lullaby and nurse then use, sleepy time key words and turn on her sleep tape. Allie had a couple of really good nights this week. Then last night was up every hour all night for no reason that her Mom could tell. She didn't seem sick and wasn't refluxing too bad. I'm sure eventually she will just outgrow it and learn to sleep through the night.

Thanks for asking.

[lingstar]

Hello,

I'm glad to hear some good nights were had! I well remember the joys of zombie-like sleeplessness....like you implied, it will pass. One thing that your daughter could also try is make a pillow nest nearby her bed if she wants to sleep with her baby - when the baby finally does sleep, your daughter only has to move a small amount to regain her bed.

Best wishes,

[Grimmaze]

When baby can't sleep, it could be because of the temperature, his diaper, hungry, or he's feeling sick.