The guys rules

[Vness]

Every so often I actually get a forward that I like. I thougt I would share.
A few of these made me laugh.

The Guys' Rules… Finally, the guys' side of the story.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note.. These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. Call a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as sports, cars,
or, ***.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Sleeping on the couch tonight; Did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping!

[Linda Buquet]

Too funny!

Good one Vanessa!

[Larwee]

I read this when it was first posted. I took another look at it tonight, since it is Christmas and not as much is going on in the forums as usual, and being a man I found some of the comments to be interesting.

I will admit that I have said some of the things listed, but I am not going to say which ones. There are also some there that I have never said and never would say.

I did get a laugh reading some of these and most men will probably have some thoughts about most of what is on the list.